That one time I got paid to look at a naked girl →

Earlier today I was reminded that there exists a thing where people get together and drink beer and draw naked people. And then I remembered that I attended one of these things and wrote about it. It was actually a lot of fun and not nearly as weirdly sexual as I thought it might be. But I may have lucked out because I got to draw a cute girl and the photographer who visited the following week had to see a skinny naked dude. Art, man. 

PlayStation Memories

Sony is set to reveal the PS4 tonight, which triggered a Twitter-wide bout of nostalgia for gamers everywhere. Turns out, sniff, sniff, that I’m not immune either.

A few months before the PS1 came out, Sony set up a massive TV and a demo of Battle Arena Toshinden in the food court of Hawaii’s biggest mall. My brother and dad got in line but I didn’t even want to touch the controller because I was such a die-hard SEGA fan. But I did get in line and beat a couple of other people with the giant knight Kayin. I had no idea what I was doing, but the game was big, flashy and it made me feel powerful. I loved everything about it except the Chinese assassin Fo Fai with his big claws and cheap moves. Ugh, I hated that guy. 

We ended up waiting outside the local department store to get a PS1 the day it was released, but only two other people showed up and we stood around joking about the lines we expected to see. We walked home with Ridge Racer, Battle Arena and maybe another game or two. I didn’t even like racing games much, but I played Ridge Racer all the time. The PS1 was light years ahead of everything else at the time and playing one of those early games felt like I was getting my hands on top-secret technology that had leaked to the outside world. 

Nowadays I play my games on the PC and iPhone, and I can’t recall the last time I felt as amazed as those first glimpses of Battle Arena and Ridge Racer. I hope the PS4 brings that feeling back. But Sony better not bring Fo Fai back. That guy is the worst. 

Do you have any PlayStation memories to share?

A Good Day to Die Hard (AKA Die Hard 5) Review

I saw this movie less four hours ago and I’ve already forgotten everything that happened in it. Now that I think about it, I had the same problem with Die Hard 4. This franchise is going downhill fast. At least DH3 had a crotchety Samuel L. Jackson, and taught me valuable life lessons like how to get four gallons of water into a five-gallon bucket. There are a lot of explosions and bullets in Die Hard 5 but nothing as memorable as a bucket filled with water.

Grade: C-

Side Effects Review

NyQuil terrifies me. Whenever I take it, my mind dims and slides into the backseat. I hope I never have to take the drugs in Side Effects because apparently the side effect of one of them is murdering your loved ones in your sleep.

As the killer’s psychiatrist, Jude Law has a lot of questions on his mind. Then he starts to show his own symptoms of mental strain as the fallout ripples into his struggling practice and precarious marriage. What is everybody hiding? Is something deeper going on? When a movie has you asking yourself these questions, it’s probably a good one. 

Grade: B+

The Weight-Loss Plan

Last November I played the worst basketball game of my life. My dad and I were evenly matched, wheeze for wheeze and air ball for air ball. It was almost funny how out of shape we were.

I don’t like complicated plans so I’ve kept mine simple. It’s worked for the last five weeks and I’m down about six pounds, getting close to my college weight though I still have a ways to go before I’m done.

My plan is essentially three rules culled from a lot of internet reading.

  1. Drink only water, especially before and during meals. 
  2. Eat smaller portions. And try to eat healthier stuff than pizza. 
  3. Exercise regularly.

I had an expensive gym membership that I let lapse, so I’ve been rotating on YouTube videos for cardio, yoga and strength training. I believe I’m in the running for World’s Least Flexible Man, but my wind is better and I can now catch subway trains without looking like a crazy person. 

For motivation, my good friend has partnered up with me. Even though she lives in another city, we text and chat regularly about our eating habits and workouts. She is probably about 5 times in better shape than me. Excellent motivation.

I also regularly check the weight loss subreddit /Loseit. Some people on there have lost dozens or hundreds of pounds and their lives are changing in incredible ways. Losing 15 pounds feels so much easier after reading about their transformations. 

Weight loss is a lifestyle choice. You can’t get fat eating a single burger and you can’t get thin eating one salad. It’s the trend of your meals that determines whether you’re gaining or losing weight, and exercise improves your health but only plays a small role in the sliding numbers on the scale. I try to remember that when I decide what to eat. Maybe it’ll help you too.

I’ll post occasional updates. If you have an inspiring story or are looking for support, feel free to leave a message.

Best of luck to us all!

That Jennifer Lawrence

I never thought I’d say this, but I think One Direction has it right. I’m fascinated/awed by Jennifer Lawrence because she seems to be a talented, beautiful movie star who doesn’t care about looking and acting perfect. That’s not an important distinction for us flubs, but in the land of ditzy, booze-swilling starlets, Jennifer Lawrence is Queen. 

Here’s Lawrence in the February issue of Vanity Fair: 

Everybody’s like, ‘How can you remain with a level head?’ And I’m like, ‘Why would I ever get cocky? I’m not saving anybody’s life. There are doctors who save lives and firemen who run into burning buildings. I’m making movies. It’s stupid.’

Smart girl, who incidentally graduated high school two years early so she could run off to Hollywood and capture everyone’s hearts. 

New Girl's Winston Problem (Spoilers)

It took me until the second season to catch on to New Girl, but I’m firmly on the bandwagon and the last two episodes have been hilarious and touching in a way that few other shows have matched in recent years. Will Nick and Jess get together? How will Schmidt offend/endear Cece next? 

But Winston. Man, I just don’t get that guy. Maybe it was different in the first season when he had a girlfriend, but lately he’s the show’s fifth wheel, spinning listlessly a few inches off the ground while his roommates drive the show forward. 

The last two episodes have been huge as Nick and Jess redefine the show’s chemistry with their mouths, and Schmidt and Cece play tug of war with their relationship. And where’s Winston during all of this? Hooking up with a cute girl and then spreading his new mojo with random characters we’ll never see again.

Winston does one thing important in “Table 34,” setting the stakes for Nick when he tells him to put things right with Jess or one of them will have to go when their fling ends. But Schmidt could’ve said that line too and nothing would’ve changed. 

He looks worse when every other character is so well defined. Nick is the impulsive, cranky lovable loser. Schmidt is the squishy heart hidden beneath a plaster of Type-A, hyper-everything. Winston is just weird, and not in a consistent way. 

It’s like the writers keep thinking of gags that don’t work for the other guys and then just chuck them at Winston, so he’s the one that ends up with massive morning boners, a drooling love for Nick’s tropical drinks and Indian women who want to tie him up. 

The solution might be as simple as giving him a girlfriend again, perhaps that girl he met in “The Cooler.” It’d only be fair to have Winston getting to know his own new girl; happy in his bliss while his roommates suffer through their own uncertain relationships.